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let me thank you all together this one time please. i am exhausted from the most frightening day i've had in a long time. i finally admitted truth in the worst abuse memories i've ever had and it scared some parts of me so badly they pushed abruptly for dying and it overwhelmed me and i did not know what to do. it happened 3 feet away from my husband and he never noticed at all. i must freak out rather quietly. in one day i went from upset to considering going to a lockdown unit back down to basic sanity again. i'm tired and hurt. my T is going to be gone two weeks and it is a retreat time and i do not want to ask to call her she only sees folks like me with heavy duty trauma to deal with and needs a break. so there it is.
thank you all. you respond so generously in your support. i am so glad to be getting to know you. i see the need for a hobby or volunteer group but haven't had mental energy to do that. my time here is my social outlet and hobby too. i feel a bit stuck frankly. i'm extremely verbal but not handy at crafts or other things and i love to help others but right now if i worked in a volunteer place and someone came in hurting i'd start feeling their pain and just can't do that right now.
any one have volunteer ideas that are cheerful as well as useful? all my hankies are staying soggy and i need to put some positives into my mind as you are reminding me.
bottom line is i feel more fragile and wounded than i ever wanted to admit. i am a genuine survivor but i've got some major damage that is 40 years past due for restoration.
thank you sincerely for all your good and uplifting comments and kindness. you are good people!
leslie and her pixies
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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