I am working on trying to get to Texas, I would walk the entire way if that was the only way I could get there.

My doctor, the one I see weekly to talk to, says that I have set a higher standard for myself then what most folks to, or at least something like that. Whether that is true or pride I do not know, but it is how I have been for the majority of my life. And you would think that by this time I would either be able to lower my standards to some degree.

And by that what I mean not my lifestyle or car or house, actually if I could just through a day and be happy works for me. But there are some things that are extremely hard for me to do. I know every one needs help now and again, some more then others, but in my mind I should be the one helping, not the one needing it so badly.

I do not like being a burden on any one, makes me feel real selfish and greedy. And while I am a burden and I do need the help, I get guilt big time. I could handle a war or some major natural disaster and rise to the occasion, take charge and ensure that those around me would survive. But at least there, there is something tangible that I can fight and over come, as I had been trained in the MC. But this, I am fighting myself and fighting to get the help from the agencies that are intent on not helping it seems.

Any ways, thanks for the words of support. And I am working on it, getting to Texas