very few times have i ever allowed myself to think about "if things had been different".......we did what we thought was right. he moved one state away and we stayed in touch. however, sometimes i feel guilty because the emotional bond, in the long run, is stronger than anything physical....i really do appreciate your replies....it means alot to me because you listened so compassionately........xoxox pat p.s. if you know about george jones and country music, his song, "He Stopped Loving Her Today" came out about two weeks after my friend died. I didn't listen to country music and still don't know why I tuned my radio to a country station. Needless to say, I had to pull off the road and bawl for like an hour. p