Silver,
Think of it as one step at a time. Take the first step, take a deep breath and then take another step. From what I've read thus far, it sounds like the medication would be a good first step. If that step is too big, then take a step towards that goal - whatever you do, don't give up and don't let yourself get into the "do nothing" phase... take one step. There are folks here who know you and have confidence that you can do it and even tho' I don't know you... what I've read... I'd say you can do it too - we're here for you.
So, if it helps to break this whole thing down... take a step towards what you know you should do... we're here.
Einna