((molly)))) yes, its very hard... sending care and hope that this pain will lessen for you somehow... its so hard cause it would be so easy to slip backwards... you will make a choice about this and there are things that will happen next.. whatever you choose you can feel good that you've spent some time thinking over your life direction, being active in it, and making some choices for you that you believed were in your own best interest... its not easy, you've done well..