Molly, you need to call someone--your family doctor or whomever wrote the prescription. Your value as a person is NOT dependent on John. I know it feels like it is but it isn't. You were alive before him, you had a wonderful, full and happy time with him, you will be alive after him. Though it doesn't feel like it. You have too much to give to the world to let your life and the value of your life be ruined by this. Remember that human life raft? This is your time to wear the life jacket and we'll support you, but you have to kick your feet once in a while (which means you have to believe you'll come through this and you have to call your doctor!)