New member here. Thanks in advance for listening.

My wife of 26 years was diagnosed as bipolar two years ago. Last year she attempted suicide twice and was hospitalized twice. This year has has its ups and downs, obviously. Part of it, of course, has been due to the struggle to find the right medications. Recently she went on lithium and it hasn't great so far. Last week I went away for a few days and came back to find that she'd made another half-hearted suicide attempt.

At this point I'm torn in various directions. In addition to love, concern and pity, there's also a strong urge to get out and get on with life. That, of course, is followed by guilt. More and more, every day, I find myself saying I can't take this anymore, and then I do. I can't be this honest with anyone in my family, so thanks for letting me vent here.