That's the million-dollar question for so many of us who have parents with mental or other issues...often they grew up in the same environment, yet they re-create it.

You can break the cycle, though. I'm sorry about everything you have to deal with - it sounds horrible - but someday these days will be behind you. They really will. And then you'll have the freedom to create positive change however you see fit.

Despite all the horrible things you've been through, it seems plainly evident that you will get through this. And then you'll be living your own life.