((((((((((((((((((((((((Eva)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm not going to say that I know everything; but there is one thing I do know. When I was 21 years old I was Dxed as having a Major Depressive Disorder; it basically means that I have a significant chemical imbalance in my brain that causes downright suicidal depressions.

This means I will have to be on medication for the rest of my life, unless I kill myself first, because it also means that even w/ medications.....I will get hit like lightening out of the blue w/ a "depressive episode" I may crawl under a blanket for days until it passes; sometimes I've gone on an alcoholic bender (I'm a recovering alcoholic) & wind up in the ER and/or ICU and/or in a coma for 3 days.

For many of us in this forum....if I May speak for others...we must stick together.....swap ideas for dealing with these episodes w/o going totally mad! I am now "older" (ain't gettin my age!!!) I STILL get the wind knocked out of me out of the blue....and I may come close to posting a suicidal note (which we all know is BAD )

Sometimes all the "hugs" "I'm thinking about you/rooting for you" ETC! doesn't mean anything but to you at the moment...b/c the way you feel...it feels like the biggest miracle in the world could happen....and you'd say, "Bah......." and crawl back under that blanket.

But you have to keep coming back here; post till you drop You may always get lucky & get a real good idea from someone...but you have to ASK for SUGGESTIONS...otherwise you won't glean an awful lot!

You've been doing good at coming back, again & again....that's the first few blocks of the "Yellow Brick Road to Mental Recovery" Gotta dodge those do-gooders on the brooms though.......the simple word....."Help" is the BIGGEST #1 first step. (Just ask a good AAer like me, that's the first step there!)

You got the place, the people......now the ball's in your court! Talk to us!!

((((((((((((((((((((((( DAYZEE)))))))))))))))))))