Just tell him and ask him what he suggests. Just a suggestion, but maybe, at least for right now, you could work on these issues without your H, since he seems to be over your infidelity. You could work on this with your own therapist or perhaps this couples therapist would also see you individually. Not all therapists do that, but some (like mine) do, if they have the training for it.

You said, "I should have communicated how I really felt." I think this is key. When I was in couples therapy, we worked on communication a lot. How to tell the other person things, how to really listen when the other person was speaking, how to not get defensive, etc. Also, being able to tell the person your needs is very important. And having the other person willing to try to meet your needs, at least some of the time, is important too. If you want more romance and the other person says I could care less what you want, there is a problem.

I was in a situation very similar to yours in some ways, Razzleberry. I was married to a guy who rarely wanted sex. He just had a low sex drive, I guess. He didn't like it when I tried to initiate--maybe it made him feel pressured. But yet he would rarely initiate himself. A woman could die waiting. He also was incapable of emotional intimacy. It was pretty lonely living with a guy who didn't value sex or love. I did not respond with infidelity, though, so you and I are different there. However, now I am responding with divorce. It's a better solution for us than playing the field but remaining together.

Do you know? Is this something you have worked on learning in individual therapy? If you know, does your H? If you know why you cheated, maybe work in couples therapy on the dissatisfaction rather than framing it as the reason you cheated. For example, if you wanted more emotional intimacy, say to your H that you feel emotional intimacy is lacking in your relationship and that you would really like that. You don't have to add, "and that is the reason I cheated on you."

Next time he does that, tell him some of the issues you have brought up here. If you raise those and he says those aren't worthwhile, call him to the carpet, and say "you asked what we wanted to discuss, I tell you, and you dismiss it. So, what do you want to talk about since you aren't willing to talk about what I would like to discuss?" See what he says. Maybe he doesn't realize how dismissive he is being. Also, can you talk with your H outside of therapy and identify some issues both of you would like to bring to the table? What issues does your H want to discuss when your T pops that question? Maybe he has concerns that you haven't heard yet.

I think focusing on sex is rather superficial. Often, problems in the sex life are a symptom of something else that is wrong, rather than the cause. JMO.

If you have a good relationship with your own therapist, ask him for advice on this. Right now my daughter is having some trouble with her therapist, and recently she and I discussed this with a family therapist we see for family therapy. It was really helpful to get another therapist's advice on problems in therapy, kind of like asking a neutral expert.

I hope you'll hang in there with your counseling. Couples therapy is not for the faint of heart. You and your H are both brave and have a commitment to improve things if you are going to therapy. A really good start, IMO.