leslie and pixies,
Again your insight is incredibly helpful..I am so confused right now? So much going on? So much fighting to keep a hold on everything myself to be in total contol,YET I feel as though I am just a person punching in a time clock? I am very thankful to have my husband behind me YET I lack the ability to trust so much it's so uncomfortable to let my guard down at all and that makes me and my insides exhausted. I feel that if I allow them more time access there voices might tell my deepest secrets that I have those walls up in my head to protect? The more there talking inside thinking and planing and carrying on the more I feel defient to keep us all quite and secure away from people who will harm us? Make any sense? UGGG sorry I am just so emotionally torn right now. THoughts just filling themselves in with even more details and I just can't breathe...

Sorry you were having a rough time too...I want to comment but don't want to insert myself where I am not sure how it will effect other's? My paranoia is really high right now so I will go but had to say THANK YOU!!! YOu have a very positive way of looking at things and I think that's great...
Miserycriz