I saw her today and it was just like an ordinary conversation with friends.. How are things? How did you deal with such and such a situation? I think you dealt with them quite sensibly.. How crappy is that?? But.. At least I understand myself, even if she doesn't.

I have had my meds adjusted quite a few times and just been put on a higher dose about 5 days ago now.. But.. I guess it would help to have a change yet again.. I have an online friend, who I am very close to.. She's the only person I can talk to about anything.. But I can't always get hold of he, but.. it's always good when we have a chat.

I just need people to talk to who have been through it, that's all. Just helps a little bit more, you know?

It sucks. I suck.