((Pain)))) no one here thinks you can just snap out of it.. we know about the stuff that makes us feel so low we want to give up.. we know about cycling and feeling like you describe.. its just that we have been working on feeling better and now there is some payoff for us... if you want, come and talk with us a little more.. you'll find that what is most important is the opinions you hold inside, whether they are correct or not they will influence us accordingly..

keep trying... being kind to self never goes out of style, be sensible and healthy to yourself also..

we can look into our own eyes and find the kindness we need when times are this bad... see eyes of caring and concern, eyes that understand the inner pain.. you are doing what you can, something we all have done... reaching out and asking for help, getting the feelings out of you to someplace else where they lose thier power on you... maybe writing all that gave you some feelings of peace? i hope so, sending caring thoughts always...