My Support Forums - View Single Post - I dont know what to do with my life anymore.....

countrymusicgurl · Oct 29, 2008, 08:35 PM

I'm not sure what to do with my life anymore....
I'm not happy with how things are going and I have no idea how to fix things. I hate myself more and more everyday

that I can see myself and people are hurtful and I can't just ignore people.
I don't know what to do with myself. I hate myself so much

, I can never think of anything positive to say becuase there is nothing.
I look in the mirror every morning and all thease words rush to my head like...
-ugly
-obese
-not perfect
-not pretty
-I should be skinnier
and so on
I try so hard to do what ever one exspects of me but I can't. I am never good enough. I try and be everyones everything but i'm faliling miserably.
And on top of all this crap I'm gaining weight which is making me very depressed furious with myself. I am getting so fat..when I weigh myself and look at the scale I cry becuase i so mad at myself.
Right now i'm just doing anything possible to loose weight even if it means not eating.
I hate food with a passion anyways so the not eating thing really isnt a problem. it makes me so uncomfertable and i just hate food. There really are no words to describe how much i truly hate food.

If anyone has any ideas on how to fix my faliure of a life so far please let me know and i would be forever greatful to you.
Thanks so much,

Country Music Gurl