I think just by you coming on here and asking questions and feeling guilty makes you a caring person. Not that I'm saying feeling guilty is good but that you a good consience. I'm sorry that you have to go through what you do. This is a great place to be to ask questions and get some support for yourself. I can say your wife is lucky to have a husband like you. My husband won't even make himself knowledgable about BP. When things happen he just says I'm going to make excuses and use the BP as an excuse. I can go on forever but I would be happy if he just learned more about it and how I feel. Kudos to you and welcome to PC.