Hello Puzzle --

Thank you for checking back in to let us know how you are doing.

You are not weird for having these feelings -- as the very existence of this forum and all of us who post here shows.

Posting here is a brave and positive first step.

I don't think that you have to check into an ER. There are other options. I have been depressed, sometimes suicidally so, since at least the age of 16. I've never checked in for in-patient care.

People see therapists/counselors today for many reasons -- from "finding themselves" to improving family and work relationships to handling issues such as but not limited to depression, anorexia/bulemia, self-injury and all the other topics listed on at Psych Central. There is still stigma, especially among the ignorant (which too often includes our families). And I'm not one to trumpet my mental health affairs in the workplace unless I absolutely have to. But then, I'm not one to trumpet too many personal details about anything in the workplace.

Would you consider out-patient counseling for a while?