How is it not the truth, when.. I just keep upsetting my boyfriend and he's been contemplating breaking up with me for months now? And when college is rubbish, I have lost people that I thought were my friends.. And I can't talk to anyone..

All I have to live for is my music, and even that is rubbish.. I can't write songs anymore, what the hell? I'm supposed to be a singer/songwriter!!

I didn't make it through day two.. Yesterday.. I ended up needing stitches. First time for everything eh? So that's got my boyfriend angry.. He just doesn't get it. Yes, it hurts him and it's putting a strain on him, all the s**t I'm going through.. But does he not think how much of an impact it'sall had on me? All the crap I'm going through and have been through?

I wish my foster Dad and my birth Dad were still alive.. Maybe then things would be okay.. Then I'd have someplace safe to go, to stop such things happening..

I don't know.

Just in so much pain this morning and I have a headache, I'm weak, tired, ill, anxious.. I don't know what to do with myself at all..

Nothing's helping, so what the hell do I do?