thank you so much simcha, you didn't ramble at all. i greatly appreciate you taking the time to respond. i went to pdoc yesterday and told him everything that i was experiencing now and what i had been through in the past. i started seeing this pdoc after my inpatient treatment for a major depressive episode. my pdoc prior to the hospitalization left her practice for medical reasons and she was the one who had felt that i was suffering for ADD, but she would not rule out bipolar disorder. well when i was hospitalized the only focus was on the depression and the bipolar, they were not concerned about ADD and to be honest, at that moment i didn't care about anything. so when i was released from the hospital i too only focued on beating my depression and settling back to normal. however, things aren't exactly the way they should be. and now that i am back in school the ADD is more pronounced and my grades are a reflection of my functioning. so i explained all of this to the pdoc. we went over everything. and he told me that he agreed with my previous pdoc. and he told me that we should try Ritalin, he explained that it is similar to Adderall. i have no history of drug abuse, on the contrary when i am in "manic" mode i don't feel like taking my meds because i feel i can overcome anything without the meds. of course that has come back to bite me in the rear. so i have trained myself, and also with the help of my hub i don't do that anymore. he reminds me of the importance of staying on meds when he sees that i am preparing to drop them. sorry for going on and on. so today is my first day taking the ritalin and i really hope that it works. i was in psychotherapy for many years. i started therapy at 13 years of age. at 16 i was diagnosed with psychosis nos. there was a pdoc on staff and my therapist recommended meds so i saw the pdoc with my parents and i was put on meds then. but after that i got pregnant and stopped the meds. i was in and out of therapy for the years after that, until 2006. that's when all hell broke loose and i started seeing a pdoc. the pdoc i see now does therapy and meds so i am only seeing him. though i am beginning the feel that i need to see a psychologist for therapy as their techniques on treatment greatly differs from that of a pdoc. thanks again for your support.

agony