((((((((((miserycriz))))))))))

I am so sorry you are having a hard time. I have not been dx with did so far, but so much of what you say hits home. do YOU know your deepest darkest secrets? i hear the voices in my head talking all the time, and i lose time. recently talking with my kids who are older (the "baby" is 16) i have found out that they have known there were different me's for years.

recently i have discovered some longer periods of time missing, and some deep dark secrets that i didn't know. i am 44 years old and up until 2 years ago i would have told you i had had a very normal almost charmed life. then came the nervous breakdown, and panic attacks and agoraphobia. now 2 years later i am having flashbacks to things that i never would have imagined could have happened to me.

if your parts are willing to help you work with a T and discover your secrets and work through them, then you can start to heal. my secrets are still mostly secret. i know a few bits and pieces, enough to know thta my perfect life was a lie, and the one person who could maybe have filled in some of the blanks died last january. i had not seen him for nearly 30 years. i know it is scary but you need to heal, for your sake and the sake of your family. you don't want to end up where i am hiding in my closet most of the time, wondering what really happened, scared to be seen because i can't trust anyone other than my immediate family. T is pushing me to tell her about things that i don't know about.

take care of you, let the parts come out and tell their secrets, it is scary but inthe end it is for the best.

lost