I have been thinking about what you've posted for a few days now. I think I don't so much "hold back" as they never really see me in my "true state". That is, I go in and do the "pretend-to-act-like-normal-people" thing. Acting. That only lasts as long as you really don't have a good day and lose that ability- then they see through it.

As far as just plain not telling them how you feel, I guess it takes time to get comfortable with someone- or not. When I feel like I NEED to tell them things because I am scaring MYSELF, then I do. But when I think they will just scare THEM, I don't. Then there are the times, I apparently, scare them and I have no idea.

In the end, if you hold things back, you'll just have to deal with it yourself anyway. My problem actually is filling out the mood chart- its the old homework thing: I get homeworkitis and just don't do it.