I have to leave to go talk to my lawyer in about 90 minutes. I'm going to talk to someone who's on my side, so why am I feeling sick to my stomach? Because I'm afraid even with someone on my side, my ex is still going to come out on top this time, even though the judge saw through him last time and warned me. (See my post in the abuse thread for more details).

My heart is racing and my fingertips are cold and numb. Why do I let my ex get to me so? On Friday he sent me an email acting all holier than thou about my daughter's math struggles, doing his "things WILL" and "things MUST" routine. Then on Sunday he called and acted all friendly, asking if I was interested in a computer desk he was going to burn otherwise. Guess his girlfriend was at work because he never talks friendly if she's around.

i just feel like I'm fighting a battle I can't win, and even if I do win the legal battle, there's still going to be the emotional battles to overcome. Sometimes I wish I never had kids so I wouldn't have to continue to speak to him. It's a constant source of anxiety.