Thanks, everyone.

Thanks, earthmama. I am trying hard and yeah, I blew it and lost control. I hope I can walk into the next meeting without turning beet red. One part of the meeting that was very hard was after some choice pieces of my "performance", everyone on the team except for my H and me went to meet in another room, leaving me and H alone. I did not want to be there with him! It was hard to sit there with all the tension. I felt like leaving the room and going to wait in the reception area, but I stuck it out. Maybe my practice with T in "just sitting with it" helped me tolerate this. Ahhhh, the things you learn from therapy!

Later that evening, I had to go over to my H's house because my daughter left something there, and she wanted me to come into the house to show me something. I thought, oh, great, after today's events, the least thing my H probably wants is volatile, soon-to-be ex-wife inside his house. But I went because my daughter wanted me to (kids' needs first), and it was actually fine. My H and I even had a productive talk alone about a parenting issue. Despite all of our problems, we have learned to co-parent together really well. Ironically, we do a MUCH better job on this than when we were still together. According to my T, many men step up to the plate when they are divorced and become better fathers, are more involved, etc. He said it can sometimes really anger the wife, as she feels "why didn't you do these things before?"