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Old Oct 30, 2008, 03:45 PM
ThePainNeverDies's Avatar
ThePainNeverDies ThePainNeverDies is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2008
Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 1,309
I can't call 911 because what use will they be? They'll just throw me into some mental institute, or moan at me for wasting time.. I can't.. I've given her too many chances and she's not helped.. At every opportunity that she could've..

I can't phone crisis lines.. I bail out at the last moment... I'm so weak and crap.
The negative effects have already happened.. i've got past that stage.. I don't know what to do, I'm panicking again and I'm scared something is going to happen to either me or someone else.. Again. Ugh. I make myself sick. I ate in the end and that's just made me feel so **** about myself now..

I do want to have a peaceful life, but everyone IRL is just making it harder for me, taking advantage of my kindness and how easily guilt tripped I am.. Like my friend.. Emily (so called best friend).. I helped her move into the supported housing where I live and helped her with food until she got her money, which she still hasn't had.. I stayed in her room for a few weeks to help her settle in.. She got a £70 loan and blew it all in a day.. Well in a matter of hours.. All I know that she bought was.. A few packs of instant noodles, a duvet, some pillows and that's it..

So, now, because she's not allowed her boyfriend to stay overnight until she's been here a month, she's asking ME to sign HIM in as an overnight guest.. I could get license points for that,w hich means for each license point I get up to 12 max,I get closer to being kicked out!! How can she do that to me, after EVERYTHING I've done for her? And then another night, she just waltzes off to another friend's house, doesn't leave her key or my meds with staff or any food,so I have.,. No meds, no food, no clean clothes, nothing to drink, and just.. Nothing to wash with or even clean my teeth with.. Then she comes back home acts as if everything's ok, tries to get a sympathy vote because she's hungover, and then gets staff to give her food..

I lasted 3 effing months without food!! I lived on £4 a week!! Not even that!! I had soups, drank a lot, and bought big bags of pasta and rice etc. to make it last.. But no! She goes and gets all the stuff she can out of me and then just acts as though it's normal! Like I SHOULD do it!! It makes me sick! I struggle as it is without having to help her on top.. It makes me so angry!

ARGHHHHHHH!!!