Thanks for the welcome Poppet. I guess you're right about being accepted feeling "unreal" to me, as I'm not used to it-- it's so extremely hard to get out of the mind set of relationships being a tangled mess of pain and frustration.

Yes, I am at the point I can't ignore it any longer-- which is kind of frustrating as that's all I've known my whole life- ignoring things. I've told my T. how I feel like a rabbit who's burrow has just been closed up-- quite un-nerving as I can't go back to the way I used to be.

Hope I can temporarily use this forum for my safe place- I think I'm in need of one. ( That's hard to admit as I've not allowed myself to "need" anything). I will also hold onto my dog-- animals are so great- unconditional love!!
Thanks Poppet and nice to meet you too.

Mandy