I'm trying so hard to just make it through the day, but it just seems so d@*^ impossible sometimes.

I tried reading a bunch of posts, but it's like nothing is making any sense. I couldn't follow what anybody was saying. Does anyone else have this problem? It's like it's just a bunch of words on a page all in random order. It doesn't help when (like many of us do), the writers just ramble on and on, with no punctuation and no capitalization, etc. I know it's stupid, b/c that's what email and online forums are about -- you shouldn't have to worry about being grammatically correct. But I just feel like I'm going crazy b/c I can't comprehend anything!!!! There are so many posts, and I don't know where to begin.



I have so much I need to do, and I haven't been able to do anything for days. Really, I have BiPolar, but hardly anyone uses that board (not compared to this one, anyway). And right now I'm just feeling depressed anyway, so this is maybe what I need.



I've been trying to deal with this for 15+ years, and it just seems like it never gets better -- at least not for long. It's just so painful right now.

There are so many things bothering me...
* My parents try to help, but I just get frustrated with them.
* I can barely make it out of bed, and to make it out of the house is d@&^ near impossible.
* I constantly feel like others are critical of me -- and that's probably not true, but I just can't tell.
* I have one friend, but am really upset with him right now, so it's like I have no friends.
* I'm on tons of meds & I'm sick of taking them, and it doesn't seem like they're doing anything anyway.
* I used to depend on my manic swings to get things done and be productive, but somehow the meds seem to have gotten rid of manic swings & made the depression seem worse.
* Nothing is appealing: I don't want to eat, I don't want to read, I don't want to take a bath, I don't want to take a nap, I don't want to go outside (even though it's beautiful), I don't want to write, I don't want to knit...you get the idea.
* I get so irritable, so angry at everything that happens. I just can't handle this anymore!

Thanks for listening, everyone. I know many of you feel the same way, and I know there's probably nothing you can do to help, but it helps to vent sometimes. Thanks again.