Hi OldSoul.

I take it that you are 19 years old?

Hmm, it'll be ok. Depression's like hole. You're there now but you can get yourself out of there. You said that you used to like to work-out? Get there again. (I have the same problem). Working out produces "feel good" chemicals in your brain, & it can help tremendously with depression. It sounds like a good deal of your depression is rooted in self-dialogue. I realize your brother was "the golden child". But, dear, realize that you have just as much merit. I look forward to getting to know you better. I'm new to this site, also, by the way.

I'll make a deal with you. I'll promise to go the gym everyday/every other day, if you do too? Time to get ourselves out of the hole. It's a start.