Hay Hi!...
Just found this in my email... Just first time I ever heard anybody say what I was feeling too about people not seeming real.... Did you ever think sometimes while it is happening that maybe you are in some game of somebody of some sort and it's not real... like all people are relating to you but it's all fake....? Don't know what it means but I've experienced this type of thing. When I read what you wrote it kind of gave me the shivvers...I've tried to tell this to people but they sort of shrug me off and their responce will even make me feel weirder.
Aside, about having a boyfriend... You might want to hold on to him if he is nice. I've spent my life alone. Seems what happens is that when you realize this is happening to you , you might start to feel that no body would want you or want to have to go thru this...but it's a mistake. If he loves you he won't feel that way... I'm saying this because I've spent a long time ALONE...Thought nobody wanted me and that I couldn't hold a relationship...just stayed with parents...I suppose you kind of feel parents may want you. Thought I'd mention it... It might be something to consider down the road if you ever consider having feelings questioning self worth or any loss of self esteem.
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Originally Posted by Rhombus
Well the good news is I'm seriously considering telling my parents about the sexual abuse I experienced when I was 15. I feel it's closely linked to my symptoms. I am 20, but live at home with my mom, while attending college.
The glass panel is like a wall between me and everyone else, but it's obviously an invisible wall. When I'm behind the wall, I can't relate to people at all. I feel like they aren't even real people, like maybe they don't really exist. It's not just people, but things too. Things that would normally be important to me I have this huge mental distance from.
If I'm talking to someone I'm close to, like my boyfriend, I'll tell him I feel different, weird, fake, dead, but I can't really explain the feeling beyond that. That's what the glass panel is, an extreme mental distance not just from my emotions but from everything, even my own body. He'ss been very supportive about it though, and he's the one who's been encouraging me to talk about the sexual abuse.
The biggest hurdle is when I'm dissassociating, you can be the most important person to me in the world but I won't be able to feel any connection to you whatsoever. I am cut off from the world, and I just have to wait for it to pass.
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