hi...
I'm sorry that you are going through this hurtful time, and I admire you for being honest and for seeking answers.

jmo...
if he has been on any medication for years, perhaps it's time for a check on it. it may have "pooped out" and that is fairly common with ADs. obviously, it will affect his mood, impulse control, and temper.

jme...I'm a retired psych nurse...but his being a physician can actually make it harder for him to seek help. perhaps speaking with the physician handling his meds can help you. confidentiality is always a consideration...his physician may not talk with you if your husband hasn't cleared you as ok to talk to. you can bypass this by leaving a message about his behavior and making it plain that you are only alerting them and do not expect a direct answer.

helping you...please make sure you do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. you do yourself no favors in thinking you aren't as important...
a short term therapy may help you right now.

best wishes for you to get this sorted out,
Cap