welcome to pc! hope you find the support you need here. what you are experiencing sounds horrible. in my opinion it's not you, it's him. you shouldn't be financially responsible for everything. he is free-loading and it doesn't appear like he has any intentions of changing. while you were dating, did he ever ask you for money? like loaning him a few bucks because he was broke or anything like that? i would definitely hold off on having any children with this guy. if you are already stressed out in what's suppose to be the honeymoon stage can you imagine the future. i don't mean to sound pessimistic, but reading your post really made me upset because there are so many red flags jumping off the screen saying that there is something not right about this guy. i don't think that he would continue working where he is if he wasn't getting paid. and it leaves me to wonder what he is doing with the money. and why doesn't he receive his mail at your home? what does he have to hide? no disrespect towards your mother but i completely disagree with her. what more patient can you be? this is ridiculous! you have all right to be nagging and upset. i would react the same way you are. i would be heading straight to the court house for an annulment or divorce. i am sorry if i have come off to intense but they is defintely something wrong in this picture. i wish you much success in any decision you make.