My Support Forums - View Single Post - another sleepless night cant take many more

(JD) · Oct 31, 2008, 09:56 AM

Debbie, I know it's tough. One of the worst things you can do to yourself is become upset by this. Think of how it (probably) used to be every night that you struggled, and now it's much less. It will continue to happen from time to time, no matter how well you have things managed.

You can get that "full" night's sleep... But you may have to redefine what that is. The idea of staying sound asleep for 8 hours is probably gone forever. Besides, as we age, that doesn't happen anyway.

My "good" night's sleep is 3-4 hours of decent sleep/restfulness, a short break (I'm working on making it really short!) and another 3 hours of sleep. Pain wakes me once the meds wear off, and then there's the bladder because of the back... so I will always need to wake up by 4 hours (and then it's excruciating for 15 minutes until the pain meds begins again) but with help, I do go back to sleep. It wasn't always this way... or this good.

My pain management psychologist had to help me first realize to stop fighting with myself over not having a full night's sleep. That change of attitude, though difficult, was tremendously helpful. Even now, when there are night's I just "know" I'm not going to sleep until maybe dawn, I can consciously think that, and realize it happens, it's not my fault, it won't happen forever... etc.. and then act on "allowing" it to be. By not becoming worrisome or angry at myself, and keeping the peace with my body, I find I do go to sleep faster.

I had to adjust my nighttime "meds" too (really an herb, Valerian) and am doing some non-normal things with it. I take a large dose capsule an hour before bed, then valerian drops in water at bedtime, and also put drops in the middle of the night pill taking water... too!

If I have an active day, well, I just "write off" a quick night's falling asleep. It isn't going to happen. That's where I reminded myself about "trade offs." If I purposely have a busy day, it's knowing that I need to do that the day before a day I can "sleep in" or lounge around, because I'm not going to sleep well that night.

Write things down, about your body and your wishes, and see if you can come to an agreement for yourself. It can be worked out, I'm sure. But, like I said, the definition of a full night's sleep is going to have to change I think.