I've been right where you are. I fought getting help tooth and nail. I think it's time for you to stop fighting it. Your last paragraph is exactly where I was when I finally saw a doctor. I was at the end of my rope. If you are like me, Just posting your story on this site and seeing the responses.....knowing that you aren't alone, made you feel a little better. Please keep posting on here with updates. Your story is SO similar to mine that I'm interested in how it works out for you. Maybe I can learn something from you that will further help me. Well Wishes, Cajun