Close your eyes and relax as much as you can. I'll give you something to smile about....I made it....I'm here and no triggers so far (ok, 1 gut check kind of thing but I let it pass). You guys are all here--don't worry it's a huuuuge room!! Try your best to let it go, let the pain and guilt out of you and through tears, through scribbling, through writing. You're getting stronger every day. You really are.