lilyann, this causes me concern...about his self prescribing. Is he actually writing scrips for his meds or using samples left by the reps?
Sorry to be blunt, but this is dangerous for him and quite possibly for you. I am not implying you need to flee or anything else that drastic! It's jmo, though, that you need to try therapy one more time--make it plain at the very beginning that leaving him is not an option for you.

Your children...kids are very much aware of what is going on. Many times we shortchange them by thinking they aren't in tune with the tension...they are and usually blame themselves for it.
Whether they are exhibiting behavior problems or smiling sweetly, their hearts are still confused and hurting.

Because he is "high-functioning" now does not mean that will always be true...
Please do whatever you can to get a support system into place for yourself and your children. If he will not go to therapy with you and the kids--go anyway. You'll learn new skills and ways of handling things that will help you.

Again, my best wishes to you!
It's so darn hard to try and make changes when everything appears so natural...sometimes it makes us doubt ourselves and our feelings. Don't let this happen to you, lilyann.

Cap