MentalPollution, it means a lot that your relationship has lasted so long. You're right, its good to keep in mind that the bad doesn't last forever. It's easy for me to lose sight of that; when I'm way down I often say things like "I'll never get better", "I'll only get worse"... I'll try to remember that, and my bf has also said what you said... that yes he sees me when I'm down but also, even though that's part of me, that's not ME.

Cap, what you said:
"Have you heard the old saying that marriage/relationships should be 50-50? Lol--forget it. Sometimes it's 90-10, 12-88, or any other percentage...and it may stay that way for awhile.
It doesn't mean it's good or bad--it just is."
means alot... I worry so much that i'm not giving back enough to him. Have you had experiences where the relationship is that uneven? ... it worries me so much when it gets that way... I want to give back but there's so many times right now that I just can't
It does make me think though, that I'm not being realistic, and allowing the give and take of the relationship to happen without feeling bad about it

Thanks so much MP and Capp

The good part, I do think my relationship with my bf is very based on honesty, and we both try at least to help the other as much as we can. It's just that I feel that I'm giving so little back right now, and adding so much trouble to our relationship.