i'm sorry that your friend was not more understanding of your plight......i'm sure that the lump you are feeling in your throat is due to your anxiety.........i hope that you realize by now.that your friends here at PC will never make light of what you are going through....and we will try to reassure you all we can........i know that all the things you experience are very real to you....and i for one will never deny how horrible it must be for you.....i hope everything settles down a bit....please take care of yourself and lean on your friends here.we will always stay right by your side..i only wish i could do more for you....sigh.....sometimes i feel so helpless......love you