ncguynva, no apology necessary!
everyone's situation is different, and you are talking about something that is serious in a way that is above what we are talking about in general.
Adultery is not a part of what we are sharing about our relationships...

I am so sorry that you are going through such a rotten time, ncguynva. Do whatever you need to do in order to have a marriage of trust and love...
Jmo, but you've given it plenty of time and chances to work out. Sometimes it just won't no matter what ya do.
It's no reflection on you but one on her...
I'm sorry for the disappointment and grief this is causing you.

Cap