I just..don't know anymore...I am full of some terrible poison..and there is no antidote

I am so...empty..so lacking..in any inspiration in any motivation...
I just want to fade away...I just don't care..
I'm so lonely......so sad........I am so alone...........

I am poisoning myself...with all these thoughts...but I don't know how to stop...and what does it matter..because no one will read this..because I don't matter......and all I do is piss and moan...I have been useless here lately....

I hate this...so much...I hate..that one minute I am up the next I am down, and the next I feel nothing at all.....
I just..want to fade away...
I'm full of poison...and it hurts..and it is killing me....