What do you think he would say if he knew how you felt? Since he did register here, you could ask him to just look up your posts if you'd be more comfortable with that. But think about him--now, not when you were together--and think what he would say if you told him how hurt you are and how still in love with him you are. We never want to think of someone we love with someone else. In June I ended things with my fiance of 9 years. He is now living with someone and that kills me--stupid since I ended things. It's part of life, honey. You are so young. You really need to look at it as wondering what is the next step for you; recognizing and acknowledging the pain, telling the pain that it won't shape your life (it can come visit sometimes, but it won't rule you), and walking the next step in your life. Maybe you are meant to focus all your energy on the kids and on the classes you have been offered. Sure, you don't want to do any of it without him, but right now you have to. Maybe when he sees that you are strong and confident and really don't need him (although you may feel different), maybe then he'll realize what he had and maybe he'll see things differently. I say you allow yourself 18 1/2 more minutes (why that number? I have no idea. Because it's different, it's not doing things the same, normal way), so 18 1/2 minutes to cry, scream, shred paper, through a pillow, get down on the floor and throw a good old fashioned hissy fit and toss all the pain you feel right now out with it. Then, when the time is up, go wash your face, brush your hair, put on your make up if you wear it, go for a walk and start your day!