Thank you, MissC.
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Originally Posted by MissCharlotte
I'll tell you--I would call him and leave a voice mail;
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I know, that is so rational, and others have suggested that. But my T doesn't do the phone. I have no guarantee that he would even listen to my message before our legal meeting next week. He doesn't listen to messages every day and has told me before that if I need to reach him, it is not reliable to phone as he only listens every few days. I have called him before and gone to session the following week and found he never listened to my message. It just makes me feel really bad to make a call and not have him respond so I have learned not to put myself in that position. I would rather stick my hand into fire. There are also times in session when he has said, "I'll call you tomorrow about that," and he hasn't. He just forgets. One time he said he'd call me the following day, and I expressed my hesitancy in believing him. I asked him if he promised, and he said yes. He called 3 days later. That was the best phone behavior I've ever seen from him, and it was still hurtful. So I have a rule: "never phone T."
The next time I see him will be at our legal meeting next week. I will try my best to ignore him and not let any disappointment or anger about this whole thing invade the meeting room. I definitely cannot go into all this with him when I see him as everyone else will be there. I will try to contain this and focus on the meeting. I need to focus on the D, not T angst. As I mentioned before, I don't need T to be part of the problem.
I think things like this are why you are not supposed to have your T serve dual roles. But even if he was only my coach, I would still feel bad if he reached out to me and then ignored me.
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by the way, I don't think it's bad that you were emotional in a meeting.... it was a lot of your life invested in that marriage so I think you should yell at the top of your lungs! You go girl!
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Thanks for saying that, MissC.
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Originally Posted by earthmama
When is your next appointment??
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About 6 hours after the legal meeting. I really don't feel like going. He'll probably want to go over the meeting from earlier that day.
I am reminded of a dream I had once where I had to have therapy with these 2 other guys. It was not helpful. After the session, I asked T nicely if I could go back to seeing him alone and he said no, I had to go with those guys. I was furious. It took me a while to figure out who the guys represented. They are the divorce.