I still don't get it. I'm looking for a support group also that has taken DBT classes and when I took it we spent like 10 min. on this topic. Most of our time was spent on diary cards. That pissed me off. Anyway when I focus on the urge and am non=judgmental and observing and describing the urge or craving I start obsessing and visualizing it and then I need and want to do self harm. I'll have to read more on the subject. I'm glad this skill helps some people but if it doesn't you aren't the only one.