{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ......you are not alone NOT AT ALL....Your pain is real and at least your giving it a VOICE now.......That is what my T keeps telling me to do too.
I am proud of you CJR520 that your doing the same thing....KEEP TALKING your doing great, that is all part of the healing process is talking, talking and more talking!!! and we are ALL here to listen.
take care