welcome to pc CL! glad to have you join us. while reading your post, two things really "popped" out to me. first was the drinking and then the viagra. have you noticed that he has had any difficulties being intimate? sorry to ask this personal question, but he may be experiencing some difficulties in that area and has not felt comfortable sharing it with you. does he has a history of alcohol abuse? it concerns me that he is hiding the bottles, which signals that he may be or becoming an alcoholic. does he suffer from depression? or going through unusually high stress at work maybe?

in regards to his "friendship", i am not sure what to tell ya. have you tried marriage counseling? i agree that you shouldn't be alone in making the effort to save your marriage. he has to step up to the plate as well. i hope that things work out.