It is sad that it takes one's passing to do that.
Unfortunately, as strange as it sounds it seems like not an uncommon thing, I agree life is much too short, grudges that seperate people and such, waste precious time we can spend with friends and loved ones.
Losing a loved one I agree, makes you see life differently from that moment and the years that follow, some of it becomes a valued life's lesson, while the other leaves heavy hearts that are breaking, leaving only time to be our healer. I lost my dad, going on 3yrs now, I miss him so, we were best of friends.
I have removed grudges from my life, I grumble a little and then let it go, it can be hard but we all really need to do that.
I am sorry for your loss, I pray for peace and comfort to follow in time, for you and families involved.
Please take care,

DE