Hi, i'm not sure that i can give you any advice but i can listen to you...how's that? she's had a lot of pain in a short amount of time. a card from you with heartfelt sympathy would be good....a phone call.....take some food.....stay in touch enough so that she knows you're available.......i wouldn't insist that she attend the party.....let her make that decision. she might just want to spend the day in bed. my brother died in a fire and i remember that the food that people brought helped us so much. i'm so impressed that you came here and reached for help...that means a lot about you as a person. PM me if you need to. pat