I HATE how screwed up all my relationships are. I HATE that I can't just stay with the guy I love and have us be happy together. Anytime something's good, I find something that's bad. Every time. Without fail. Going good and what do I do? I nitpick at how he said a joke! We get over that fight and what do I do? I get pissed about my brother. I get so pissed I know I'm about to smack my bf if he touches me, so I have to tell him to back off which makes him pissed which makes me pissed so I leave! Then a minute later I'm coming back inside and telling him I'm still pissed but I love him and we need to break up cause I'm so tired of this. And he's already told me, he told me today, that if I say we need to break up ONE MORE TIME he's going to just let me do it and stop the fights.

I hate that I can't just be happy. I always cause a fight. I'm tired of fighting. I promised him we wouldn't fight anymore. Now I know there's a reason I always fight, that I'll probably always fight, and he has no true reprieve to look forward to if he stays with me.

Makes me want to cry and worse.