I've been reading the book Emotional Blackmail, and it's helping, but I still can't get the thought out of my head that he's going to twist things around to his advantage in court tomorrow, force me into mediation again, and get his way. AGAIN.

I just have to keep reminding myself that the courts saw through him the first time around, but I backed down and refused to let them handle things, and him, properly. This time I have a lawyer telling me not to back down and that I can say NO, I WILL NOT AGREE TO THAT, no, and can walk out of mediation. There's nothing that says we have to come to an agreement through mediation. And dammit, I'm not going to pay all this money to a lawyer and get stuck with a big credit card bill, just to back down and let him get his way.