{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SAS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I understand all too well how you are feeling. Like Recluse and you, I've been there myself. I've also turned my back on God, so many times I didn't understand how He could love me or forgive me. Even right now, after last night's study, FEELING His love and His joy, it's hard to take in. I certainly don't understand it because I feel so insignificant.

SAS, when a person doesn't receive the approval, the love and nurturing we need as we grow up, it's almost impossible to understand and even accept love and caring from others... and much more so God's love, understanding and caring because it is so perfect! We certainly weren't taught to accept ourselves, much less love ourselves.

For a long time I struggled with the concept of God's grace, His unmerited favor. I didn't even understand those words! It simply means that He loves us NO MATTER WHAT. He keeps on forgiving us time after time because He forgets what He forgave us for the last time. THAT is what God's Grace means. Of course, it's up to us to not do what we know is wrong. But God is patient with us, oh, so patient!

There's many people here that can relate to where you are right now and most of us are eager to help. I know I am and I know Recluse is, too. Lean on us, SAS. We're here to help or if nothing else, just hold your hand.