EJ
So sorry to hear you're having a hard time. a friendship that has lasted 35yrs is a testament to you both. you are probably right that she is just grieving her loss and maybe not sensitive to your feelings right now.
as far as the holidays go....I can already feel the blues settling in. I'm trying to prepare so that I don't get caught in the duldrums.
I personally don't have alot of family and what I do have is far away or struggling with their own issues that the holidays often leave me feeling quite lonely.

here are some hugs for you

shawn