I'd have to agree with mortimer. It does get better before it gets worse. To spill your guts is to face what happened to you and admit it's real... that it's not something you just imagined in a twisted dream. If you let it, the confession will have power over you. Most people tend to find themselves very vulnerable after drudging up old memories. It's pretty normal. When I spilled both of my stories here, I felt horrible both emotionally and physically. Just par for the course. As mortimer said, if you have the courage to spill your guts here then please do so. You'll recieve nothing but support. And I agree with you that by spilling, there's a sense of relief in getting everything off your chest. And I think your friend is more caring that you give credit for. If she's calling you to check up on you and offeres her help and compassion, I'd say that you've got a friendship to cherish. It takes a special person to find that diamond in the rough and your friend seems to have found the diamond in you. Good luck and take care.

Ry