Today has been hard... it's only 2.30pm
Started off ok enough... I went along to my work prep course (granted I waas anxious and ended up late)... but I came out and had a phone call from my mum saying she wasn't there to pick me up because she was at the doctors again with 'J' (brother) and she had been told to take him to hospital... obviously this started my anxiety up... then I had to hang around 'W' (the city) until I got a call from her telling me which hospital she was going to so I knew what to do. This made anxiety worse... wondering around W on my own (haven't been on my own for this long in while). So as I'm wondering around W I see couples my age... this sets depression off, also seeing groups of people my age together.
I then get phone call from my mum saying she had to take him to the hospital which was in another town so I had to make my own way home... I didn't have a door key! Big big big big anxiety problem at this stage and depression because I wasn't coping well...
My younger brother 'M' was at college, so I phoned him and asked him to meet my so I could take his house keys... I then had to get the bus home, by this time I'm shaking, feel sick, and to make things worse there were no seats free on the bus so I was stood clinging on to the pole for what felt like dear life (I felt like I was gonna pass out), had palpitations and everything so I'm stood on the bus trying to breath and trying my hardest not to cry.
Anyway, now I'm home... first thing I did was give my rabbits HHHHUUUUGGGE cuddles and made a peppermint tea. I'm a little more relaxed now, but still jittery, faint and feeling sick. I'm still on my own.
That's pathetic isn't it... 'normal' people wouldn't panic like that.